Never Meet Your Heroes (A Switchblade Kittens & 100 Monkeys Story)
by BeattySt
Summary: Some scars run deeper than others: recovering from the events in Texas has taken its toll on Jane & Lou, but there's no time to wait as they're back on the road with Twilight star Jackson Rathbone's band, 100 Monkeys, who just happens to be Jane's ex. Both love and lives have already been lost: can Europe handle the hurricane that's about to sweep in?
1. Chapter 1

**Here it is - as promised! The sequel to my other fanfic "Two Kittens and 100 Monkeys". This story picks up a few months after the events in Texas which saw Jane and Lou the victims of an horrific attack by a celebrity stalker driven crazy by their involvement with Jackson Rathbone and the 100 Monkeys. THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who took the time to read and to comment on the first one, it meant so much to me, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it!**

**I know the band is no longer together, sometimes it's hard to say goodbye ;-p**

**Hope you like it!******

LOU'S POV

The vibration of my phone woke me up. I squinted in the sunlight streaming into my room and rolled over to grab it from the bedside I table. I swiped my finger across the screen and the message popped up.

I'M COMING TO GET YOU.

I threw the phone onto the floor and pulled the thin sheets over my head, taking deep breaths. There was no escaping the inevitable.

I was going back on tour.

There was a tentative knock on my door. I didn't answer but the door creaked open anyway.

"Tea?" I saw the mug first before my mum shuffled in behind it in her dressing gown. With a heavy sigh I pulled the blankets off me and sat up in bed. She perched herself on the end of the bed and handed me the mug.

"Are you OK hun?" she said softly, stroking my head. I nodded, "I'm fine, mum, really. I was fine when you asked yesterday, and the day before that!" I gave her a small smile to take the bite out of what I'd said and kissed the back of her hand before taking a sip of my tea.

She noticed my phone on the floor and picked it up, activating the the lock screen. It was a picture of me, Jane, 100 Monkeys and James. I can't remember where or when it was taken, but it was one of my favourite pictures.

She smiled at the screen, "You look like you had a lot of fun. It won't be long until you're back on the road again." She sighed and stared at her hands.

"Oh mum!" I exclaimed. I put the mug down and flung my arms around her, "I'm sorry but I told you it was only a few weeks before I had to go again. And I've barely been back to the flat or the studio. We've committed to the record company now."

She sighed again and hugged me tighter, "I know dear, it's just been so nice having you around these past few weeks." She pulled back and gave me a kiss on my forehead, rubbing my arms. She looked down and paused, looking at my left arm, shaking her head. "I don't know why you insist on marking your body" she said, tapping the new tattoo on my bicep. I sat back, self consciously covering it up.

"That's three new ones I've spotted since I've seen you." She gave me a disapproving look, but I noticed there was a twinkle in her eye. I glanced down to my right wrist, "Four actually," I muttered. She reached out to grab my left wrist to look at my arm again, "Why did you get this one, exactly?"

My latest tattoo was a bright red heart, flanked by angel wings with a scroll across the middle. The scroll was empty. I wasn't sure what, or who, I wanted to put in it yet.

I gave her a shrug, "I dunno, I just felt like I needed to." She smiled, "You're just like your father," turning my arm over to look at the anchor tattoo I'd got in LA on my forearm, in the same spot my dad had had his. I gave her another smile and another hug.

Thirty minutes later I wandered into the kitchen, drawn by the smell of toast. Mum was dishing up breakfast as I sat at the breakfast bar. I took a swig of the glass of orange juice in front of me before speaking, "Jane's coming to pick me up later."

She looked at me over her shoulder, "Really? Oh OK. What time?"

"About 3 I think. She texted me this morning so she'll be setting off from the flat in a bit." I guessed from mine and Jane's flat to my mum's house on the coast would take her about 3 or 4 hours. I'd managed three days at home before I decided I needed to get some space. Our time in LA after the ordeal in Texas was intense. As much as I missed everyone on the road, I needed some time to get my head cleared. I idly thought about the picture on my phone, and the un-read texts from Teddy. I wasn't quite ready to read them yet.

Mum shoved a plate on front of me, "Eat up then, and make sure you've packed everything! I don't want another phonecall saying you've left your favourite harmonica at home again!"

I picked at my food. After I finished I quickly packed to get it out of the way and sauntered around the house. Although this wasn't the house I'd grown up in, I still had a lot of happy memories from here. I ran my fingers over the wood panelling before I stopped at the door at the end of the corridor. My mum's house was a small bungalow on the south coast, a 10 minute walk from a tiny shingle beach. It was surrounded by fields, miles away from anywhere. It wasn't much to look at, it was built some time in the seventies and hadn't been decorated since then. My mum had filled it full of her trinkets and memories, tacky souvenirs from around the world, dusty bottles of exotic booze and pictures of fifties pin ups everywhere. I pushed open the door and stepped into my dad's study-come-studio. All of his stuff was still in there, we couldn't bear to get rid of any of it. His guitars were still lined up against the wall, and all his papers were still stuffed inside ring binders that looked like they were about to burst. I took my time looking at all the framed photos he had hung on the walls. There was the large poster from his band's first supporting gig at the Empire, and the stub ticket from the first gig he went to with mum. And then there was my favourite picture: it was one of the only times he had allowed me up on stage, I was wearing a bright red dress and couldn't have been more than nine or ten. My hair had been put up in a large pomp, the same as my mum's, standing next to me behind her mic. My dad had walked from the front of his stage toward his backing singers and dropped to his knees, guitar still around his neck, one arm around me the other pointing towards the camera, mid way through his gig. I still remembered the crowd cheering. I closed my eyes. I hoped I was making him proud.

I wandered back out of the room, out of the house and went into the meadow surrounding the house. Despite the peace I felt here, I could still feel the events of Texas clinging to me. I was still having nightmares, although I tried to put a strong face on. I lay down in the long grass. My mind was so busy I felt numb.

I wasn't aware I had drifted off until I heard my mum calling me,

"Lou! Louise! Jane's here!"

I pulled myself up and headed around to the front of the house. My mum was giving Jane a bear hug by her car. She gave me a quick wave over her shoulder.

"Hey dude," I said quietly.

"Hey," she said, breaking off from my mum and bumping knuckles with me. Mum clicked her tongue, "You two look so thin! Didn't they feed you in LA?"

"Awww, you know us Mrs F, we prefer a liquid diet!" She slung her left arm around my mum's shoulders and walked with her into the house. I followed, unable to take my eyes off of the ugly scar that now ran down her arm.

A few hours later, mum had already opened the third bottle of prosecco.

"Careful, we need to be up early tomorrow to drive back to London!" I said, trying to shield my glass.

"Oh nonsense!" she exclaimed, "It's not often I get my two girls together! You can have one more!" Jane grinned as my mum handed her a glass.

"How's the band Mrs F? Are you still singing?"

Mum beamed as she settled down and smoothed out her full 50's frock. No matter what day it was, my mum always dressed up with a full quiff, ponytail, gorgeous frock and bright red lipstick. "Like mother like daughter", Ben had said after seeing the picture of us in my room. I felt a nervous flutter in my stomach and tried to fight it with another swing of alcohol.

"Oh, now and again dear. But did I spy Isabella in the back of your car? Louise would not shut up about it when you got it off that young gentleman!" It was Jane's turn to beam. "I sure do have her with me, shall we give her whirl?" Jane got up to go to her car.

Mum reached over and touched my knee, "You know, you're going to feel OK one day Lou. Believe me, when I lost your father..." I put my hand up to stop her.

"I know mum, I know. But seeing her just reminds me."

"I know dear, I know. When I think about what those wretched girls did to you my heart tears in two. But you're both alive and they've been put away for a long time. Don't you worry about Jane, she can look after herself. She looks like she's made a full recovery. You just need to focus on the future now." I gave her a weak grin as Jane walked back in.

"What shall we start with? Sharon Jones? Chubby Checker? Louis Fox?!" Mum's eyes shone as Jane mentioned dad's name, "Let's play one of yours dear."

Jane pulled the guitar strap over her shoulder and strummed a few chords. I caught sight of her left hand. Around her ring finger was a thick, black line.

She saw me looking and stopped. The air stilled. I gulped, "So you've still got that then?" Jane looked at her finger, "Uh, yeah. I mean...yeah" She looked back up at me. A mixture of anger and sadness flooded through me.

Mum immediately jumped up and grabbed Jane's hand, "Just what the hell is this, Janey?!" she squealed, "What's going on here?!"

Jane looked nervously at me, "It's nothing Mrs F, it's just a thing..." I snorted. "It looks like more than a thing dear!" said mum, still holding her hand. "What happened, how...Who?!"

Jane pulled her hand back and shrugged, "We just talked one night, and, y'know"

Yeah, and the rest, I thought sulkily. It was the morning after that night I decided I had to come back to England before we flew out to Amsterdam to start the next tour to get some space. Being around the Monkeys and Josh was too painful for me. I thought Jane felt the same. She eyed me warily from the sofa. "Lou - " she began, but we were interrupted by a ping from my laptop, which meant one of my Skype contacts was calling me.

"Answer your computer Louise!" said mum, practically bouncing in her chair. She couldn't wait to get the full gruesome story from Jane.

I walked to my laptop and clicked on answer. Oh shit! I quickly slammed it shut before Jane and mum could see who was on screen - and more importantly what he was holding up.

"Um, I'm gonna take this in the other room" I mumbled, grabbing my laptop. "Hello, Lou? Lou?" said the muffled voice from under my arm. Jane frowned as I made a dash for it. I hoped she didn't recognise the voice.

Door safely shut behind me, I opened up the laptop and sat with it on my lap. "What happened there?" said the voice. His picture was slightly pixelated. We didn't have a great connection all the way out here.

"Sorry. Jane's here."

"Oh"

"Yeah, sorry."

I thought I saw him grin. "I made you a sign" he said, holding up the picture again. It was of two robots hugging each other in front of a heart, it was a perfect replica of the one on my arm.

"Love you" I said.

"Love you too, Lou Lou Bear. Can't wait to see you."

There was a knock at my door, "Lou? Are you talking to Ben in there?"

Oh shit.

**Just what is going on between Graupner and Lou? And what is the deal with the black ring around Jane's finger? I hope to post soon, always dying to know what you think! I'm on Twitter 'at' beatty_street, do say hello if you enjoyed it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

**JANE'S POV**

Haha – I had a feeling Mrs F wasn't supposed to have said that one out loud…  
I tried to suppress my giggles into my Proseco, which I unfortunately ended up snorting and coughing and spluttering all over Mrs F's kitchen. Oh well. HOW Lou thought I didn't know about her and Ben was completely beyond me.

Of course I knew! She was so sad to say goodbye to the boys (well, we both were), but she had gotten particularly teary saying goodbye to Ben. Suddenly she's writing _really _soppy songs, and is constantly emailing or on skype. I knew something was up. I had mentioned it to Jackson a few weeks ago, who also mentioned that Graupner had been acting kind of weird and trying to ask how I was, and then not so subtly guiding towards the subject of Lou, and how was _she _doing?, was she hanging out with anyone? Getting back to the London ways ok?' And other ridiculous questions. We put two and two together, and it took a LOT to convince Jackson not to release their secret and start teasing Graupner. Jeez, I'd be paying off those 'bedroom debts' for years… (Not that I minded _that _much…ahem).

'Sorry! Where were we?" Lou bustled back into the kitchen bright red and flustered. I was just about to start teasing her myself when her mum cut in. "Janey!" Oh dear, I could see the red start to rise in her cheeks and she was starting to sway a little, she grabbed my left hand to emphasize her point. "Are you going to tell me what this tattoo is or not?!'

I eyeballed Lou and hoped she'd save me from this one, she just crossed her arms and grinned back at me. Apparently pleased that the focus was off her for a change, and I suspected she still wasn't totally impressed that I had got it done in the first place.

"Ok, look, we're not married or anything, BUT we were a little drunk one night (Ok – _wasted_) we were emotional, you know, after everything that happened". I saw Lou's back stiffen at that. We had skirted around _how close _to death we had actually come, and had managed to tell Mrs F just the need to know facts, as well as anything she read in the papers... "We were getting all sentimental, it's more of a... promise, I guess…" I didn't really know how to finish that one.

I was starting to feel that Jackson and I would never fully get it together. We loved each other. I knew that, he knew that. But in terms of making it work? That was another story. We were both following our careers wherever they took us, and highly respected each other for it, but I had no idea when one of us would back down, and give up our lives for the other… I couldn't shake the feeling that we were fighting a losing battle, but i just couldn't let go of him.

"Mum!" Lou suddenly shouted, as Mrs F, who had been listening to my explanation with a dreamy look on her face, and gone to rest her chin in her hand, but unfortunately she might have been a little tipsy, and her elbow slipped out from underneath her, off the table sending glasses flying, and landing on her bum in the middle of the kitchen floor. There was a moment when we all became mute statues looking at the mess, before all ending up on the floor in hysterics, like, gut cramping, eye watering hysterics. Oh god, I remember thinking. I can tell where _this _evening is going.

The next morning after what seemed like a million cups of coffee and Mrs F's fabulous bacon and eggs I was just barely starting to feel alive and up for the drive back to London. We had managed to pack Lou's stuff into the car in record time too. I stood outside having my last cigarette before the drive, and waited for Lou to say her goodbyes. Watching those two say goodbye was always incredibly emotional, but you couldn't blame them, especially after what they'd been through. Once we were ready, I gave Mrs F a final wave, then made our way back to London.

It took HOURS to get back, but finally we made it. Home sweet home. Kind of. When Lou's dad had passed away he left her the best gift EVER. A flat just off Brick Lane. This area may not be to everyone's taste, but it suited us, AND we could make as much noise as we wanted. The mortgage was expensive,but we managed. Besides, this is where Louis had formed his band in the 70's, there were no better memories than the one's Lou kept here. The place was huge, we had uncovered brick walls, huge wooden beams stretched across one end of the flat to the other. We had spent a lot of time trying to keep this place as 'originally rock n' roll' as possible… _And _we had fabulous neighbours. Lou and I had met Jake and Adam years ago when were all asked to play in, out of all the bizarre coincidences, A Twilight 'promotional party'.

(I had met Jackson that night, but didn't see him again for years, I had reminded him of this the night we got our ring tattoos. He had remembered it too, but hadn't wanted to freak me out. It turned out this was the mushy soppy kind of thing that convinced us getting tattoo'd was a good idea. I guess we've made _that_a bit of a habit….)

Jake and Adam had just moved to London from up North, and were looking for a place to stay… we mentioned the flat across the corridor from our place was up for rent, and that was that. Band practice every night without annoying the neighbours ;) Plus, it was nice to have company.

"My bed! Oh, I've missed you!" Lou barraged past me throwing her suitcase to the floor sprinting down the hallway to her room and launched into a huge belly flop onto her bed. I looked around me at the plethora of bags, instruments and general crap we had managed to accumulate over the last 6 months.. Nope, not in the mood. I went to my own room, texted Jackson my usual 'Miss you' text, and passed out.

A few hours later I awoke to the smell of lasagne… or something that smelled as equally as good. With my hangover finally disappeared, I was STARVING. I followed my nose and found Jake propped up against our kitchen counter, swigging a beer and watching Lou do the washing up. I noticed she had packed away everything, and must have cleaned, the place looked immaculate. Nothing changes.

"Here" she dried her hands and handed me a bowl of my favourite pasta. It was like heaven, just what I needed. "Thanks" I said gratefully. Jake, Adam and I had been hanging out the last few weeks that Lou had been at her mum's. I had a sneaky suspicion that Lou had asked them to keep an eye on me, but chose to ignore it – I liked the company. We had given the boys a set of keys when we went to the States, and they now treated our place like their home too. I plonked myself next to Jake.

"Sup" I said to him with my mouth full of delicious meaty pasta. "Just catching up with old Lou, Lou, she's been filling me in on a _lot_" he grinned cheekily. She turned and whipped him with a tea towel. "Ow! Thought you guys would be knackered after the drive so cooked you dinner" he finished with a wink. My eyes narrowed, "_You _cooked dinner?" I caught Lou's eye, she shrugged. "Jake thinks he's had an epiphany of an idea"

"Oh really" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Do go on…"

"Don't look at me like that sweet cheeks – what would you have done without us looking after you these last few weeks..?"

"Looking after me?! What the…"

He cut me off by grabbing my hands and swinging me around the kitchen like we were in 'Strictly Come Dancing'.

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?! " He sung at me.

"Excuse me?"

"Io sono una salsiccia! Daaarling!"

Lou squeezed past us to get to the dishwasher. "You know you just told Jane you're a sausage?"

"Huh? Lou? What is he doing?"

"Vor sprung Deutsch!"

I raised my eyebrows at Lou, as Jake bent me back and held my head inches from the floor.

"CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON?!" I was half laughing, half dizzy, and was not confident my dinner was going to stay in my stomach…

"OK, look, that gig with 'The Rollers' I lined up for Adam and I didn't turn out so good… we… er… well _I _kind of screwed things up a bit…"

"How?! Those guys looked so promising?! WHAT did you do?"

"It doesn't matter" he replied quickly and sheepishly. Ok, _this _was starting to get interesting. "What matters is my great idea!"

"Go on then" I pulled myself back up onto the counter. "Hit me".

"Adam and I are going on tour with you guys to Europe!" he finished with Jazz hands. _Jazz _hands. No wonder he had such bad luck with women.

"You ARE joking?" I laughed in his face and half playfully, half seriously punched him on the arm. "We're a two-piece band. We've just signed a contract!"

I looked at Lou for back up, but she had her back to me making a pot of tea. "Well, she said slowly "I was thinking…"

My jaw dropped in shock.

Jake smugly crossed his arms across his chest. And grinned at me.

"We need to discuss it further..." No kidding. "But what if they joined us on stage every now and again? The boy's need their break too… AND they looked after the place whilst we were in the States". She caught my eye. "It's not like they're in our band, obviously they can't be Kittens, we still have our music. But they could be our glorified roadies or something, then maybe let them play at the beginning of our set every now and again?"

"PLeeeeeasssee Janey Waney?!" Now Jake was on his knees. "I need Adam to start talking to me again…"

I rolled my eyes. "Ok look, it's a _maybe _, but before we get too excited we're going to have call Sony and see what they say. We have an album to release at some point, remember?"

I thought Jake was going to punch the air with excitement. "This is going to be awesome! Thanks ladies! I'll text Ads the good news…Hey, let's all go for beers tonight?"

"GREAT idea". I was dying to find out just how badly Jake had cocked things up with this latest band. I Couldn't wait to get the gossip from Adam.

"Cool, I'll text him now…Oh, hang on, what time is Ben getting here? I'm dying to meet him!" he grinned and wriggled his eyebrows at Lou.

"WHAT?"

Lou immediately spun around and threw the last of the pasta sauce at him, then turned to face me looking incredibly guilty….

"Um yeah… there's something I need to tell you. We might be er… seeing the boys a little sooner than we thought…" and then, after all we've been through, I don't know why this surprised me.

The doorbell rang.

**I'm on Twitter 'at' beatty_street, do let me know if you have any suggestions etc…!**

**Have a great weekend ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm cracking on with this as fast as I can! Hope you're all enjoying it, please let me know what you think!**

**As usual, any resemblance to people (or places) alive or dead (or even in between!) is coincidental!**

CHAPTER 3

LOU'S POV

I was starting to regret inviting the boys over to stay in London before our European tour kicked off. Boys stink and are messy.

It had only been three days, but my beautiful flat looked like a bomb had hit it, and only two boys were actually sleeping in our flat! Jackson of course was staying in Jane's room (I was glad our rooms were on opposite sides of the flat), and Johnson had opted to sleep on our couch. Adam and Jake offered some spare space to Graupner and Jerad rather than having them pay for a hotel. I'd felt a slight pang that it seemed like Ben couldn't wait to get out of our place fast enough and hang with his new buds next door. He was still being weird with me,

I was up before the others, picking up dirty clothes from the floor, sweeping for empty beer cans and piling dirty plates into the sink. I started grumbling to myself as I turned the taps on. Why couldn't they just wash up after themselves, just once?! Jane was messy, but she kept it to the confines of her room, and she was clean. Boys were not clean. I should have guessed given the state of the 100 Monkey's tour bus, but in their own environment I could handle it. Their mess, their problem. But in MY environment?! Grrrrr.

I was shook from my thoughts by a loud scream. Johnson raised his head from the couch, buried underneath a pile of blankets and squinted his eyes, "Whuh-wha?" I heard shouting coming from Jane's room. Uh oh.

Jane came racing out of her bedroom with a face like thunder, "Where is he? WHERE IS HE! I'LL KILL HIM!" I held up my hands, covered in suds, "Jane, Jane. Calm down. He didn't mean it!"

She glared at me, "Like hell he didn't mean it! He knew exactly what he was doing!" Johnson sat up, looking alarmed. "I swear to god, if I catch him I will pull out every single hair from his head, one by one, then I will strangle him and then I will chop him up into little tiny pieces!" She waggled a finger in my face to reinforce her point.

"No!" I cried, "Please Jane, I'll - I'll talk to him..."

"No, not this time! It's gone too far! He has pissed all over my bed, Lou! It's everywhere! I'm going to destroy that little fu-"

Johnson leapt up and skidded to our side. "What is going on? Who did WHAT to your bed? That is so gross!" He looked between us two, Jane standing with hands on hips and gritted teeth, me with soaps suds sliding down my arms and a forlorn expression. "Wait, guys, um, where's Jackson? Did he..." A look of horror fell across his face.  
Jane screamed at me again as I cowered and stomped off. "Get it sorted Lou!" she spat over her shoulder. Johnson looked like he would pass out. I just shook my head at him. The front door suddenly opened, and in walked Jackson with a tray full of Starbucks coffees.

He raised an eyebrow and balanced the tray whilst shutting the door with his right foot, "What in holy hell is going on in here?" he said in his Texas drawl, "I could hear your hollerin' all the way outside!"

I paled as Johnson's eyes widened. "Dude, erm, did you have an accident last night?" he asked Jackson. He anxiously looked over Jackson's jeans. Jackson looked down, confused.

Jane screamed again. Jackson's mouth formed a silent O as he looked to Jane's room. I bit my lip and looked at my feet. "Oh no, don't tell me, not again!" he said. He whistled and shook his head "You're for it now, Lou Lou Bear" he said under his breath.

I heard a soft pitter-patter sound and something soft brushed past my legs. "There you are!" I bent down and scooped up Mr Pickles, my white persian cat, showering him with kisses. He used to be my mum's cat, but he didn't take to country living so stayed in the flat, fed by our neighbours whenever we were on tour. "You've been a naughty kitty, Mr Pickles", I whispered into his ear.

Jane screamed from her bedroom again and came rushing out with one of her vintage t-shirts. "Look at this, it's ruined! That fucking cat has pissed all over my bed AND all over my clothes!" She caught sight of the cat and in my arms and made a lunge for him. I backed away as Johnson held her back, whilst trying to also avoid the tainted clothing in her hands.

"I'll kill you! I'll kill you, you bastard! Just you wait, just you wait!"

Jackson tried to fend her off with his free hand, making shushing noises. "Calm down, darlin', calm down. Mr...?" Jackson turned to me, "Pickles?", I nodded. He continued, "Mr Pickles is just acting out. He's just a c-"

Jane glared at Jackson, "DO NOT say he is just a cat! He is evil incarnate!"

There was a knock at the door. I tentatively stepped over and opened it, keeping my eyes on Jane and Mr Pickles in my arms. Graupner popped his head around the door, "Hey Lou, hey - OH!", he looked at Mr Pickles and recoiled. Mr Pickles hissed at him.

"Shh, Mr Pickles! Stop being so grumpy!" I said. Graupner made an attempt to pet him, but the cat just hissed again. "Sorry Ben, he's a bit out of sorts" Ben pulled his hand back.

It was Jane's turn to hiss. Jerad, Adam and Jake edged through the door, trying to keep Ben in between them and the cat.  
"Lou, maybe Mr Pickles would like to go outside now?" said Jackson, inclining his head towards Jane. I nodded and walked over to the window that led onto our balcony and let him jump out onto it, "I'll come for you later with some Miaow Mix, Mr Pickles. Be good!" I whispered. I walked back to Jane, "I'm so so sorry hun, I promise I will clean your room and replace anything that's been ruined. I'll scrub it from top to bottom, you won't know it's happened."

Jane seemed to soften, but just silently nodded. She probably knew I'd probably enjoy getting to clean her room given it was such a tip, but I kept my mouth shut.

A few hours later I found the guys sprawled in the living room, after I had bleached and scrubbed (and tidied) Jane's room and washed all the bedding and clothes. Jane and Jake were playing on their guitars, whilst the others were crowded around mine and Jane's PS3. "So, how are we going to spend our last night in London?" said Jane, as I balanced on the arm of the sofa.

In unison, the 100 Monkeys shouted "Curry!", as Jane rolled her eyes. On their first night here, we had taken them for a proper London tradition, a Brick Lane curry. They liked it so much, they had one last night as well, before we hit a few bars. "We shouldn't be out too late" said Jerad, "We have to leave fairly early to get the ferry". Johnson nodded sagely. "Aw, but we have to say goodbye to London properly!" said Jackson, leaning over to place his mug on the coffee table. He was obviously unable to hear my internal screams for him to use a coaster.

"Doesn't matter, we're all packed up, aren't we Lou?" said Jane. She spotted me staring at the mug and swiftly placed a coaster under it, to my relief. "Um, yeah. Packed." I mumbled. I dashed to the kitchen and busied myself tidying it up.

Jane looked around the flat, "Hang on, my bags are here, the guy's bags are here...Lou? Where are all your bags? Usually you're the one bugging me to get it sorted! I actually paid attention this time!"

I pretended I didn't hear her. She got up, "Lou? Did you hear me? Your bags?"

Jake leapt up, phone in hand, "Dudes! I just got a text from my mate Marcus, he is in this awesome band and they're playing at 93 Feet East tonight, we have gotta go see them! They're pure rockabilly!"

The Monkeys didn't need telling twice, they all got up and made for the door. "You coming?" Jane asked, pulling on her coat. "I'll, um, I'll catch you guys there later. I have um, some stuff to sort out here first" Jane raised an eyebrow. Shit! She's rumbled me, I never have stuff to sort out, I'm always sorted. She made a move to say something but Jackson grabbed her around her waist and pulled her away.

"I'll wait with Lou and come see you later, too" said Graupner. I eyed him nervously. We hadn't been alone in the same room since...  
Since Sam's funeral.

Jane said she'd speak to me later, and Ben and I were left alone. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Lou, what's wrong?" he said. I ignored him, pulling out Mr Pickles' gigantic bag of Miaow Mix.

"Lou, look at me. What's wrong?" he said slowly. I'd been dreading this. For so long, Ben had been avoiding me but he had to choose to talk to me now, right when I was on the verge of losing it.

I shook the bag of cat chow, waiting for Mr Pickles to come dashing out. When he didn't arrive, I shook it harder. Ben took a step forward.

"Lou, put the cat food down and look at me!" He grabbed the bag from my hands, and gripped onto my arms. This was the first time he'd touched me in 2 months. We had talked so much over Skype and on email when I came back to England, but when he got here he wouldn't look at me. But now he was.

"Don't" I whispered, "Don't look at me like that".

He frowned, "What's going on? You've not packed, and you look so...so different"

I cringed and he let go of my arms. I self consciously raised my hand to my hair.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way, it's just - well, you always used to 'do' you hair, like have it curly and pinned up and stuff, but I don't think I've ever seen you with straight, normal hair and never without red lipstick! You almost look - normal!" He gave a little laugh, and peered at me under his fringe.

I willed myself not too look into his eyes. For as much as Ben didn't go near me, I couldn't bring myself to go near him either.

He took another step and gently brushed the hair from my face. I could feel my stomach tighten. I couldn't hold it back any longer.

"Why?" I croaked, "Why have you not been near me since you got here, since we were last in LA? You were so lovely when we used to talk?"

Ben looked sad. "You've hardly leapt into my arms either, Lou", he said softly. His fingertips gently brushed my arms.

My lips trembled, "Is it...is it because of what happened? To Sam and to Jane? You blame me, don't you?"

I tried so hard not to cry. He suddenly pulled me into a bear hug, arms enveloping me and crushing my head to his chest, "No Lou, not at all! It's not like that!"

My mouth was muffled by his hug, "But, but you won't look at me!" I sobbed. "Everything's changed! Everything's gone wrong, and it's all my fault!"

Ben made shushing noises and stroked my hair. I pushed him away.

"You do blame me though! Don't you?! You think Sam's death was my fault, because I let James..." I couldn't get the rest of the words out, the guilt was too much to bear.

He gritted his teeth, "No, and don't you ever think that again!" he said forcefully. He gripped my arms again, "It wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault but that crazy bitch! Do you hear me?"

I looked up at him and gulped, "But why...?"

He got angry, "Do you really want to know? Do you really want to know why I can't look at you or even tap you on the shoulder or hug you?"

I nodded.

"Because if I did I'd be scared that I'll just end up doing this"

And then he kissed me.

The world exploded around me as Ben pushed his lips against mine. I had been longing for this for so long, but the guilt and grief I'd felt over Sam's wouldn't allow me to admit it. As he pulled me closer to him, I felt full of light and warmth. He was my release from all the pain that had been building up inside me.

He pushed me against the kitchen counter and without even breaking our kiss lifted me onto it so he wouldn't have to crane his neck. My hands slid up and I pulled on his hair, as his hands slid down my back and gripped at my shirt. We couldn't get enough of each other.

As we got more intense I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him to me, gripping me between my knees. His wrapped his fingers around my hair and tilted my head back, pulling his lips from mine.

I gasped, and saw the look of wanting in his eyes, mirroring my own. But then suddenly, his expression changed. He look horrified.

As if he was just coming out of a trance, Ben took a step back away from me, pulling his hand from my hair and putting his fingers to his lips.

"I'm sorry Lou, that shouldn't have happened". He shook his head and backed off, grabbing his jacket and storming out the door.

I looked on after him in shock. What the hell was that?!

Half and hour later I had managed to compose myself and had joined everyone in the bar where the gig was. Ben's words about my appearance hung heavy in my mind, so I'd applied the usual war paint and had made a bit more of an effort than I had in recent weeks, but it was just a mask. I felt empty inside.

My miserable mood hadn't gone unnoticed. Jane just came right out with it. I loved her for her honesty, but not now.

"Lou, you haven't packed at all, have you?!" I looked at her with wide eyes. "Well, have you or haven't you?!"

I bit my lip. "No" I mumbled.

Jane looked like she was going to pass out. Jackson stood next to her in shock, stroking her back, "Lou, the grand organiser of everything, hasn't packed?! Has hell frozen over?" he laughed.

I looked over and caught Graupner's eye, who quickly looked away. Jane was staring at me as if I had grown another head. She knew this was a lot more serious than Jackson understood.

She spoke slowly, "Lou. Why haven't you packed for our tour when we're leaving first thing in the morning?"

A lump formed in my throat and I scratched my arm. Graupner appeared behind Jackson, looking at me with that weird, sad look again.

I looked back to Jane, "Because I don't want to go" I said.

I honestly thought she was going to hit me.

**Is Jane going to hit Lou? Is Lou going to go on tour with the gang? Is Ben going to kiss Lou again and will Johnson ever recover from Jackson's 'accident'?!**

**New chapter soon!**

**BT**

**XOXO**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay! The next few chapters are written - so should be more regular from now on! Thank you for your kind messages ;) xoxoxo**

CHAPTER 4

JOHNSON'S POV

"WHAT?!" Several people looked over at our table as Jane's voice rose above the noise in the pub.

Woah. Where did this come from? I thought we were all on track for an epic summer...? This won't work without the Kittens being there. This had to be a joke, right?

"I'm... i'm sorry" Lou's voice was just about audible as she stood up and grabbed her handbag and coat and practically ran out of the building. Graups started to go after her, but Jane pulled him back.

"It's ok," she said pulling on her jacket. "I need to speak to her.."

"Darlin' she obviously is not NOT going..." Jackson grabbed Jane's hand "Maybe she's just being dramatic? Why not let her cool off for a while before you go stirring it up more..?" A flash of annoyance crossed Jane's face, "No i'm not letting her go home on her own," She dropped his hand. "Of course i need to go talk to her!" With that, Jane kissed him on the cheek and raced out the building after Lou.

Now Jackson looked pissed. He sat back in his chair and started texting someone. Three guesses who that was...

This sucked. My first time in London and already the fights had begun. I caught Jerad's eye, he seemed to be thinking the same thing. "Right, lets get some shots in".

JANE'S POV

"Lou? Come on, open the door. I'm not mad, i promise..." Silence. "Pleeease?"

She opened the door ajar. "Are the boys with you?" She sniffled at me.

"No - i left them there, come on, let me in!"

Lou opened the door and let me in to her impeccably neat en-suite bathroom, and i held up a couple of glasses as i perched on her antique bathtub. She looked at them still sniffling, "oh, go on then" and swiftly retrieved her emergency bottle of Jim Beam from the cabinet underneath the sink and began to pour us both a shot. Lou had a thing about drinking whisky in the bath, apparently this produced her 'most creative' lyrics. Whatever worked. Suddenly i was hit with a memory. The two of us holed up on a bathroom in a motel, the night the boys had their car accident. Here we were again.

I went to lean back on the wall behind me when i heard a hiss, then felt shivers down my spine, as if the devil incarnate himself was whispering to me, calling my name. I turned around to see Mr Pickles, perched at the other end of the tub, eyeing me as if he was planning his next meal. I hissed back at him. "Why has he got a giant pink bow on his head?"

"Oi! It's pretty. Aren't you gorgeous?!" Lou scooped him up and cooed over him. Gross. "Besides" she continued in a stage whisper. "Benny thinks he might be gay, and that's why he gets moody - because i don't allow him to express himself. I'm just trying this out".

"That's ridiculous" i rolled my eyes. "Either way - i'm not staying in here if he is. Him or me!"

"Fine" i shot in one last smug look at that devious little fluffball as Lou shooed him out the room.

"Speaking of Ben..." I thought i'd begin gently..."Is he why you're upset? You seemed fine at your mum's... Or is it being back here? In London?"

"No, not really" She took another sip of whiskey, the tears had stopped, so apparently that had been a good idea.

"It's just, with them all here, with us again, it's weird. All i can think about is James. What he did , what i did by getting involved with him. I was so stupid Jane! It should never have happened! Sam should still be here, and it's all my fault!"

"Hey! Don't think like that! None of this was your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault. It just... just happened. No one could see it coming, least of all us." I wasn't a good 'hugger' in these situations, so i went for the next best thing - another shot of good old Jim Beam.

We sat there for a couple of hours, crying, laughing, dissecting the situation, both of us ignoring texts and calls from the boys and trying to formulate our next plan of action. Lou wasn't going to be ready in time to leave tomorrow, and we both came to the conclusion that we needed a couple more days to get ourselves together anyway. To be honest, although it would mean we'd have to forfeit our first gig of the summer, a small bar in Paris, the thought of being in London a few more days was tempting. Besides, Jake and Adam could take our slot. It was the perfect alternative.

It must have been about 1 in the morning when both Lou and i were awakened by shouts and banging on the door. "Arrrgh!" We'd finished her bottle of whiskey and had both nodded off, sat in the bath with our legs dangling over the edge.

"Come in!" Lou croaked. "Help!"

Ben G burst in with Jackson right behind him. I recognised the same boozey glint in his eye, and that loveable lop-sided grin. I held up my arms towards him, "Help! I'm stuck!" I giggled as he tickled me before hauling me out of the bath and managed to swing me over his shoulder, making the whiskey churn about my stomach in a rather scary way...

"Come on darlin' i haven't seen you all night!"

"Night night Lou Lou!" i called as we left the room. Ben G was refusing to help her out of the bath, instead just stood there in hysterics taking photos of her as she tried to shield her face.

I let Jackson take me to bed.

JOHNSON'S POV

BANG!

What the fuck?! I sat up quickly and had to hold my head to stop it from spinning. I checked my phone - 2.30am. 4 hours before we have to be up. Damnit.

I could hear voices getting louder and more angry by the second. Oh, great. I groaned. Jane and Jackson having a another drink fuelled argument. Why couldn't they just sort this shit out?

BANG! Something hit Jane's door from the inside. Man, this was a bad one. I turned on the lights as the front door burst open, Jake came running in wearing what i can only describe as women's 'undergarments' whatever it was was small and pink, with a sleeping mask on his head and carrying a baseball bat. Jerad entered after him. Both looked as wrecked as me.

'What's going on?"

I pointed towards Jane's room. Now the shouting was getting louder...

"Well why don't you go hang out with Ashley then. Seeing as you can't leave her alone for a few days!"

"I told you we had arranged to meet up with her tomorrow!"

"But your interviews aren't until next week - i don't see why she's coming out earlier than expected. or maybe i DO know why!"

"You're being ridiculous". Jackson's voice was lower than Jane's screeching but still loud enough for us all to hear.

Lou and Graups suddenly appeared from Lou's room. I raised my eyebrows at him questioning. I just assumed he had passed out in the boy's apartment next door.

Nobody had time to react to that as Jackson came storming out of Jane's room, carrying a pillow. He froze briefly when he saw us.

Jane came storming out after him, not wearing much either, with a face like thunder. She threw a load of blankets at Jackson, it looked like was about to have company on the futon for the night.

He moodily picked them up started making room next to me.

Jake finally found his voice... "What the fuck is going on here?" Then at a lower volume, "we're still going tomorrow, right...?"

We all looked at Jackson. "Ask her", he pointed at Jane. "Although she might not be able to articulate herself properly, are you getting your period or something?" He slurred, oh dear, still not sober then.

"Getting my FUCKING PERIOD? Are you FUCKING JOKING?" Jane made to lunge at him, but Jake managed to grab her by the arms and held her back.

Something dark crossed Jacksons face briefly as he took in the sight of Jake holding on to his girlfriend who was standing there in very little underwear. In fact, everyone was trying not to look at her lack of clothing. Damn, Jackson was a lucky guy.

"I'm fine!" She wrestled away from Jake. I'll see you in a few days. " With that she flounced back to her bedroom in slammed the door.

"A few days?" Jerad asked Jackson. What the fuck?" Then everyone started shouting at each other then.

"We're going without them"

"What?"

"Are we playing?"

"Someone called the venue?"

ARRRGGHHH. Everyone froze and covered their ears. Lou stood in the middle of the room having just achieved the loudest whistle i ever heard a human make.

"Everyone calm down!" She stood there with her hands on her hips. "This is what's happening. Jane and i need a few more days in London, we'll catch up with you next week. I spoke to Adam earlier. Jake - you and him will cover the Kitten's first gig, we've mailed the venue. Bedsides, the Monkey's fans will no doubt take a shine to you lovely looking boys over us girls anyway."

I heard something inaudible come from Jackson. Who sat there still sulking. Whatever it was, it wasn't pleasant.

"It's done." She continued. "You boys only have a few hours before you have to leave so i suggest everyone tries to get some sleep. Come on, Ben." With that Lou grabbed Graup's hand and dragged him back to her bedroom.

Jake and Jerad left, and i helped Jackson make the bed, he didn't say anything just laid there staring at the ceiling. We laid there in the dark, listening to Jane drunkenly crying her heart out in her room. It was painful to listen to. I don't know how Jackson could stand it. Why was he just lying there listening to her in pain? He should be comforting her, not antagonising her. I rolled over and put my head under the pillow. It pissed me off. Sometimes he just didn't know how good he had it.

JERAD'S POV

It was painful getting up the next day, but we managed. Johnson and i had packed the van the night before, all we had to do was get the band together. Luckily everyone else seemed to get their shit together quickly and quietly, still feeling the aftermath of last night's massive bust up.

Jackson, Johnson, Jake, Adam and myself stood in the hallway. "Where's Grauupner? he's taking ages to get ready!"

"He's just saying goodbye to Lou, i imagine" Jake responded with a grin.

"Well he better get a move on... GRAUPS! Hurry up!" I banged on their door again. The last thing i wanted to think of right now was him in bed with Lou.

Just then Jane's door opened and she came out running towards Jackson, wrapping her legs around him as he picked her up.

'I'm sorry!" She nuzzled into his neck. "I'm sorry too, darlin', i'll be seeing you soon, ok?"

They stood there holding each other for an awkwardly long time, before Jake very loudly cleared his throat.

"Ok, ok, you can have him back!" Jane smiled at him sheepishly. "I need to get dressed anyway" and headed back to her room.

"Yes, you do!" She screamed as Jackson slapped her ass and she headed back to her room. "See ya, boys!"

"GRAUPS!" we were now in the hallway, all good to go, then Ben emerged.

He looked half awake and his hair was all over the place.

"Er guys...? I might be a little late to join you on the tour too..."

**Thanks for sticking with it! :) I promise the real drama is about to start... with perhaps a few cameos from the Twilight gang...**

**XOXO**


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys, sorry for the wait! Thanks for all your patience so far, and of course thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and also to review!

As usual, any resemblance to persons alive or dead is coincidental.

JARED'S POV

I could see red. I could actually, physically see red in front of my eyes. "This is a joke, right? It'd better be a joke."

Graupner shuffled his feet and tilted his head, screwing up his face as though he was solving a really complex math problem "Yeah, um, the thing is, I kinda, well, that is, I want to erm...It's hard to explain basically..."

"Spit it out, Graupner!" I ground my teeth together. He had better be joking.

"Um, well, yeah. Like I said, I'll, um, come out to meet you when Lou does." His eyes drifted back to the bedroom door, back where that HARPY was.

I clenched and unclenched my fists, my breathing becoming more rapid.

"Um, Jared, are you OK?" I barely registered Johnson speaking to me. The red in front of my eyes was getting more vivid. Graupner had taken a step forward to try and explain, and there was a lot of shouting, but I could feel time slow around me as I walked to the door.

It was like I was having an out-of-body-experience; I'd felt as though I had left my body, and was now looking down on it as it banged on Lou's bedroom door.

"Who the HELL do you think you are? Yoko Freakin' Ono! Open this mutha-fucking door now!"

The shouting continued, but this time it was aimed at me. "Whoah, whoah there! No way, man!" Graupner's arm swept in front of me, blocking me from the door way. "She had nothing to do with it, it's not what you think!" I pushed him aside, I heard Jackson take a sharp intake of breath as I continued to hammer on her door.

"What are you trying to do, wreck my band because of...why? Lou! Open this god damn door! OPEN THE DOOR!"

I felt Graupner's large hands wrap themselves around my shoulders, and I blindly looked around for something to grab onto before the overgrown giant pulled me backwards, but as I swung around Johnson, Jake and Adam had already yanked Graupner back, with Jackson standing between us.

He held out a hand to me to try and placate me, "Jared, chill! This isn't the way to go about this!" I yelled in rage, "What am I supposed to do! She's tearing the band apart!" I thumped the door again.

A sudden dark blur whooshed in front of me, and I felt the sharp graze of fingernails on my arm. I recoiled in horror as I realised Jane was about to launch an attack on me, but Jackson had a hold of her. Graupner was still trying to wrestle away from Ben and Jake and Adam, "Dude! It's not what you think!", whilst Jane hissed at me, "Let me go, J! I'll tear him a new one!"

Jackson remained calm as Jane struggled in his arms, "No, Jerad, I meant the door!" He nodded towards it, "It's not locked, you can just open it!" Jane screamed at Jackson as I twisted the knob and threw myself inside.

LOU'S POV

I peeked over my covers as the door opened, "Ben?"

Uh-oh. NOT Ben. I pulled the covers back over my head.

"What in God's name are you...for fuck's sake, Lou, come out from under there when I'm talking to you!"

"Err, there ees no Lou 'ere, she not 'ome right now, I speaka no eeengleesh"

"What accent is that meant to be?"

I kept my mouth shut. I didn't like it when Jerad was angry, especially when he was angry with me. I could hear him breathing heavily through his nose.

"You, know, you sound like a bull when you breathe like that", I said quietly. Even though I couldn't see him, I knew Jerad would be pinching the bridge of his nose and scrunching up his eyes in annoyance.

"Lou, come out. I'm too tired for this shit. If you don't come out, I'll have to rip the covers off you, and if I do that then Jane will rip my skin from my bones" He underlined his angry words with a grinding of his teeth.

Tentatively, I peeled back a corner, only exposing my right eye. I blinked at him.  
If I hoped my attempts at whimsical humour would have calmed Jerad down, I was severely wrong.

He stomped closer to my bed, bending at the waist to get closer. It sounded like World War 3 had erupted in my lounge. Jane was shouting something at Jackson, who was hollering back whilst Ben would occasionally shout out my name.

Jerad hissed "Why are you so intent on breaking up my band?!" I blinked again. "As if the last tour wasn't wrecked enough, you then have to pull this out of the bag!" He started to stomp around my room, waving his arms around. "Well, I have to hand it to you Lou, you've well and truly screwed me this time. Royally screwed me. You can't help yourself, can you?"

"It's not what you think," I murmured, my voice muffled by my bed sheets.

He spun around, "Then TELL me what to think! What am I supposed to think when one fifth of the band suddenly decides, 'I'm not going to go on tour! I'm going to stay in England with my limey girlfriend and drink tea and prance about and not give a fuck about anyone else!' What am I supposed to think Lou? Enlighten me, please!"

I slowly sat up in bed, pulling my knees towards me. "I didn't ask him to stay. He decided on his own." My voice was calm. A small bubble of anger started to ripple inside of me. I was tired of feeling sorry for myself and being to blame for everything. The old Lou was coming back.

"Yeah, right!" he snapped sarcastically. I leapt out of bed, ignoring the fact I was only wearing a pair of shorts and camisole.

"That is right, ACTUALLY! Ben decided he was going to stay of his own accord! I actually told him that I DIDN'T want him to stay, but he insisted he was!"

Jerad stuck his chin out. It reminded me of the time I first met him, when Jane had accidentally sent a wrench flying through his windshield and he'd acted like a complete jerk. I jabbed my finger at him, "And for your information, I didn't wreck your precious US tour, that was Jackson's ex-girlfriend and some crazy stalker bitch. And yes, I admit what happened between us was pretty fucked up and that was my fault, but it wasn't entirely me, was it Jerad?! And if you were so heart broken, why did you run out and get engaged the minute I was off the scene? Huh?!"

He glared at me, "Don't you dare bring her into this! This has got nothing to do with her!"

"And Ben's decision has nothing to do with me!"

We stared at each other, neither of us wanting to back down. I tried to keep at the back of my mind the fact that he looked hot when he was angry; maybe I did like him when he was pissed off after all.

I watched his nostrils flare as he contemplated his next move. He knew me well enough to know that I wasn't going to back down. "You may not have asked him, but we both know he's staying because of you"

"It's not what you think," I repeated.

He folded his arms. "Then tell me, what is going on between you two?"

JACKSON'S POV

The shouting inside of Lou's room seemed to have stopped. What is it with these girls and their tempers lately? Women!

The door opened, and Jerad came out. Jane lurched forward but I tightened my grip so she couldn't get him. What the? - the sonofabitch was smiling!

Graupner dashed in behind him into Lou's room and slammed the door. My fingers loosened around Jane's waist as we both stood there, dumbfounded.

"Ah, are you OK, dude? What happened?"

Everyone was agog at Jared's sudden shift in demeanour. He gave me a lazy grin, "Ah, nothing. Come on, we need to get going." He gave me a pat on the back and sauntered off, picking up his bag on his way out of the door.

"Did that just happen?" croaked Johnson, "This place makes people act crazy, man"

Jane stared at the door, "What did she do?" she whispered to no one in particular. I brushed her hair behind her ear and nuzzled her neck, "I dunno babe, but I think it's gained us about five extra minutes of goodbyes!". She grinned and leaned back into me. I dipped and then swept her up into my arms, carrying her back into her room.

Unfortunately, five minutes wasn't long enough. We lay on her bed, both staring at the ceiling, fingers entwined. I felt her breathe a heavy sigh, "Look, I know you wouldn't want to let your fans down, but couldn't you stay just a teeny bit longer? I feel like we've only just got back on track..."

I hugged her, "Aww babe! Don't do this to me!"

"But Ben's staying for Lou!" she pouted. She rolled onto her front, leaning on my chest, her long hair tickling the bare skin on my arms. She stuck out her bottom lip and gave me the whole sad puppy dog eyes routine.

I laughed, and tugged on her lip. "C'mon, darlin'! You think you can do whatever Lou did to persuade Jerad? I don't think I could bare the thought of you doing to to anyone but me!"

She shrieked and slapped my arm, "You don't know what happened! She wouldn't do that with Ben right outside the door!" I laughed and planted a kiss on her lips.

She pulled back and looked down at me, her large eyes searching mine. "I'm serious J, I've not seen you for so long. Just another 12 hours, we could fly out, and make it just before the gig. The rest of the guys can haul all the gear, just this once?"

I sighed. She wasn't going to back down.

LOU'S POV

The dust had finally settled. Jerad seemed OK with my explanation, and although he certainly wasn't happy with Jackson deciding he was going to stay on a bit longer too, he just kinda admitted defeat.

I didn't go back outside to say "au revoir" to everyone, just in case tempers flared again, and besides, Ben and I had to finish up what we'd started earlier.

We eventually emerged from my room just after 3 o'clock. Jane and Jackson were sitting wrapped around each other on the sofa, watching an old black and white movie.

I shuffled into the kitchen to pour myself a drink. Ben came out of my room, all rumpled and cute and flopped onto the other side of the L-shaped sofa which took up most of the living room. "Hey, what are you guys doing?" he grinned. Jane shrieked and buried her face into Jackson's chest, whilst Jackson stared at Ben, wide-eyed, shaking his head and mouthing, "No. Way!" Ben was wearing a short, pink silk nightgown of mine complete with marabou trim, barely covering him wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. His hair was all messed up (more messed up than usual) and he had the widest grin. I frowned, but couldn't help but smile - if Graupner wasn't careful, he'd give people the wrong idea about what we'd been up to.

Jane peered over the back of the couch at me, "We thought we might stay local tonight, seeing as Jackson's got to catch a flight first thing. What say you?"

I couldn't take my eyes off of Ben. I was definitely going to have to have words with him, he couldn't keep this up while we were on tour.

Less than an hour later, the four of us were crammed into 93 Feet East, a hipster bar around the corner from the flat. True to form, Jane and I had dolled ourselves up in our usual retro style; she was rocking cool forties waves and a beautiful tea dress with red Mary Janes, whilst I had opted for high-waisted pedal pushers and a plaid shirt, with my hair in a quiff and high ponytail

Ben appraised us as we hung by the bar, "You two look like you've swapped for the night!" Jane gave him a playful punch as Jackson nuzzled her neck. Jackson looked the archetypal bad-boy: black jeans, rocker tee and loads of bracelets wound around his wrist. His hair was getting long, just how Jane liked it. She'd managed to persuade him not to wear his cowboy boots out in London - we didn't want to start a new hipster craze. I sipped my beer and looked at them both. Jackson has his arm slung over her shoulder, beer in hand, whispering into her ear and making her giggle. He had eyes for no one else. As Jane's hand reached up to his, and played with his fingers, I noticed the identical black band they both had around the fourth finger of their left hand.

The sight of it still made me feel a bit queasy. Of course, everyone in the inner circle was sworn to secrecy - the record label didn't know, and certainly the press hadn't got a hold of it. Yet. But boy, if it did come out...

I was pulled by my thoughts by Ben clinking my beer bottle. "Planning your next move, Lou Lou Bear?". I grinned up at him, "All in good time, Benny boy!". Even though Jane and I shared everything, I hadn't yet let her in on what was going on between Graupner and me. She kept on giving me knowing looks, but I didn't have the energy to give her all the details. I was just glad Ben and I were now on speaking terms, and I could be around him without wanting to cry.

The bar was buzzing, and it wasn't long until we were all on the dancefloor. Jackson was twirling Jane around like a pro, whilst I was failing trying to teach Ben how to swing and jive.

"C'mon, Ben! Just swing me around! Just grab my waist and fling me in the air, like what Jackson's doing!" I had hold of Ben's hand, trying to jostle him into position, but the big lug just jumped around. I could hear Jane shrieking over my shoulder, having the time of her life as Jackson did yet another lift, and dipped her to the floor. He was a lot better at this than Jake was, I can tell you that. Ben just gave me another dumb smile, and danced to the beat of his own drum. I threw my hands up in mock despair as Ben started to shake and wiggle his butt, much to the delight of a group of girls behind us, all dressed in skinny jeans and geek glasses.  
He was in his element, so I decided to head back to the bar. I did the 'drinky-drinky' signal to Jane, who nodded and managed to slip from Jackson's grasp. He pouted at me, and help up two fingers to signal that I could have her for two minutes, no more. I rolled my eyes and pulled her out of the throng on the dancefloor.

"Oh my God, Lou, I've missed dancing so much! It's so much fun having Jackson back!" Her eyes kept on darting back to him. Both he and Ben were now having a dance off, breaking out their cheesiest moves.

"Careful now, he has to be on a plane in less than 5 hours!" Sometimes it was hard not to let my natural organised (and what Jane would call bossy) side through.

She turned to me with a serious look on her face. "Lou, you are definitely coming on tour now, aren't you?"

I nodded, and handed her the beer I'd just bought. "Yes. I was just having, I don't know, a wobble I guess. Whilst I was at mum's I just got used to wallowing, I guess."

She gave me a quick hug, "It's good to have you back Lou. I was worried I'd lost you for a bit." We gave each that look that said, "Don't say any more or else I'll start crying", and just quietly bumped our fists. Standing side by side, we looked out over the bar. "Sooooo," Jane began, "What exactly did you do to get Jerad to let Ben stay?"

"Promise you won't say anything?". She nodded.

"And promise you won't laugh at me?"

Her eyes widened. "Pinky swear," she said, raising her little finger to link around mine.

I gulped down another few glugs of beer. "Well, erm, it's not quite what you think. I just told Jared the truth and he seemed OK with it"

She practically spluttered on her drink, "Jerad is OK with you being with Ben?!" She was incredulous. She looked at me closely, "That's not it, it can't be. Spit it out, Lou!"

"You see, um, Ben and I, we've...you see..." I couldn't say it. At the time it didn't feel so bad, Now it was just embarrassing. Jane nudged me. "Alright!" I cried, "We've been playing Scrabble."

This time she did choke on her beer. "Are you kidding me! You mean to say you and Graupner have been holed up in your rom for nearly 24 hours playing SCRABBLE?! And you told Jerad this and he believed you?!"

I nodded, "I showed him the board. It's getting to be quite an intense game. We didn't want to break it up, so we have to finish it before we go. I'm only leading by 14 points, my next move has to be killer. Jane? Jane?"

Jane was bent over, shaking. She was laughing so much that no sound could come out. All I could hear was "You...Ben...Scrabble.. Jerad...tour..." between her gasps for air.

When her fit was over, she looked me in the eye again. "So if you and Graupner haven't been, 'rocking the Kasbah', then what's going on between you two?"

I shrugged. "I have no idea. But we're in a good place now. Let's just see how it goes"

We finished our drinks before hitting the floor again. Jane got a text from Johnson saying that they'd landed in France and were on their way to Paris. There was sone other nonsense in there as well, somehthing about getting a good night;s rest, but she wouldn't let me see it.

I tried to lead our way back to the boys when I stopped in my tracks.

No. Freaking. Way.

Jane bumped into my back, "Whas' the problem, Lou? Where are the bo..." Her voice trailed off.

Standing less than 6 feet from us, looking stunning in six inch heels and a leather jacket over spray on leggings, and draped over Jane's boyfriend, was Ashley.

Thanks again for your support! You can find me on Twitter, I'm Beatty (underscore) Street if you want to say hello or have any thoughts on what will happen next!


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